Thursday, January 9, 2014

how to name your RPG character.

Diana
Shit, I need to name my dragon, and I don't have anything clever thought up
Jessie 
"princess thunderballs"
Diana
lulz
Maybe like
Something to go with kennedy and kruschev
Jessie 
i dont know if "bay of pigs the dragon" has much of a ring to it
Diana
ROFL damnit
I went with "Ike EisenMeower"
Jessie 
HAHAHA yours is good too
Diana
Bonus:  now Hiccup has to keep telling me how to take care of Ike EisenMeower
"Ike EisenMeower is too small to fly, but you can learn with our Hero Dragon!"
Jessie 
oh knowing that I would have named it something that fit into that sentence
like "this loser fuckface dragon"
Diana
DAMNIT

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

shoptalk.

Jessie 
a stable gaming job?!
you telling me you just got home from riding a unicorn would be more believeable
Diana
Le sigh
Unicorns have short lifespans
Jessie 
do they??  how do you know this?
or are we speaking in metaphor now?
Diana
LOL
Metaphorically
I have decided that the two previous jobs I had were unicorns
Precious, rare, beautiful, more suited to virgins than not...

glorious master race.

Jessie 
how ya been?
Jimmy
oh, good, good
this is the weekend where i build a new PC
and finally see what all this fuss about "graphics" is about

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Thursday, October 3, 2013

the quicker picker upper.

The season finale of Dexter had me disappointed, confused, even surprised and amazed as my backhanded-optimism and I ("The writers have nowhere to go but up") learned the hard way that "rock-bottom" is more a fluid concept than a ground zero.  But I wasn't outraged.  I would have been, but I'd used up my supply of that 3 seasons ago, when Scott Buck and his writers basically did this:
Deb: I was engaged to a serial killer who kidnapped me and tried to murder me.
Shrink: Right. 
Deb: Then a colleague turned out to be a serial killer.
Shrink: Right.
Deb: Then a boyfriend of mine got tortured by a serial killer.
Shrink: Okay.
Deb: Then another boyfriend got shot by a serial killer's daughter.
Shrink: Uh-huh
Deb: Then my sister-in-law was murdered by a serial killer.
Shrink: Have you considered fucking your brother?


Tuesday, September 10, 2013

sold.


Thursday, August 22, 2013

mallergies.

Jessie 
The only thing I'm allergic to is penicillin
so as long as it doesn't have any of that...
Diana
hahaha
I mean, cooking penicillin renders it ineffective
Jessie 
I'm amazed you know that about penicillin
Diana
....you have to refrigerate it
If you don't, it doesn't work
Or it goes bad and turns into stinky cheese, I forget

oh kotaku.

If this work of art had a title it would be:    :D  --->  >:(






















Wednesday, July 10, 2013

if i had an "about" section, this would be it.

Will C.
whats a gogo usagi?
Will C.
sounds like an american sushi roll

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

times they are a-changin'.

Dan
I hate bums in LA
Dan
Only because they're so fucking lazy
Dan
Like come on dude
Dan
It's 2013, your competition at red lights is Reddit
Dan
Time for a little effort with those cardboard signs.

sugar-coated warning.

Jessie 
so on this print-out list of their yoga classes
they make a special note if the class is taught by a guy
like below the time and difficulty level they'll have "taught by male instructor"
Amanda
polite-speak for "taught by flexible pervert".

lightning round.

Jessie 
if i ever come visit you in NY
i need to set aside a day for me to try to find the cash cab
ive always wanted to ride in it
Dan
Oh I can make that happen.
Jessie 
whoaa srsly?
you have a hookup with the cash cab?
Dan
In a sense.
When you have a gun every cab is the cash cab.

how to not lose your unemployment payments.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

happy bioshock day.

Jessie 
this "manly guys doing manly things" webcomic
is HILARIOUS
Diana
Did you start at the beginning?
Jessie 
yea--ill be caught up before the day has passed
i have to be since tomorrow i go into bioshock hibernation
Diana
hahaha
I am so excited
Ben pre ordered it, and then is promptly getting on a plane to GDC
it's aalllll miiiiiiinnnneeeeee
Jessie 
HAH
srsly a month or so ago 
i was making plans to trek up to GDC for the career booths
but then was like, wait
a) i'm getting free money from the government every week
b) much more importantly, bioshock comes out that week
and promptly decided, "fuck that noise"
Diana
LOL, priorities bitches

vampiresque.

Jess CK
i look good in person
Jess CK
but i never look good in photos
Jess CK
like i guess cameras can't capture swag

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

a cautionary tale against pulling all-nighters.


pro-tip: never leave someone who hasn't slept in 48+ hours alone next to a pool with one of those water-dwelling roombas in it.

not even to go work in your room 20 feet away like Jess did.

embarrassing shit like this happens to them (me) when you do.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

oh hey, remember the upside of growing up?

Kristin 
one of the best things about being an adult..
Kristin 
is being allowed to eat corn dogs for breakfast

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

i would not do well in the slammer.


Below is an internal thought process I had moments ago.  

Hmm my gchat status is way old.
Got nothin' new to link to.. I'll just change it to my mood: "stir-crazy"..
*pauses, skims gchat friends list*
..I wonder if anyone would get miffed at that..
Pfff, who could that possibly offend?  I'm overthinking this.
..Although there was that time I didn't think twice before posting about X and then Person X made a passive aggressive comment about it when I ran into them a month later... So this might be worth a quick think.  Can't hurt.
If I were someone who would get miffed by seeing that gchat status, who would I be?
......A prison inmate!
I'm pretty sure no one on my gchat friends list is in prison..
Then again I'm not completely sure.. I've been bad about keeping up with some of these people..
Then again there's no wifi in jail.
*changes status to "stir-crazy"*

I figured I'd post it here in case I ever need a reminder of the following: 1) stop wondering--there is absolutely no way that you're an undiagnosed genius, and 2) living with your parents is turning you into a crazy person and you need to find excuses to get out of the house more.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Friday, November 30, 2012

facebook archaeologist

J
Completely forgot that Facebook had a "poke" feature, so I wasted 5 minutes of my life poking random people.
Jessie 
POKEFIGHT
J
haha
I don't remember why this feature exists
it's so dumb
Jessie 
it was something from back in the day when facebook first got introduced and was just something people used to get laid
J
I poked way too many males.
crap.