my booty-call.

salty.

aaaand scene.

Jared 

why not reach?

Jessie 

i told gina we'd co-op reach as new roomie bonding

plus i never finished 3 and am feeling OCD about it

Jared  

spoiler alert: master chief wins

Jessie 

HAHAHA

Jared  

at life

Jessie 

he gets his dream career

he gets the girl (except not since she thinks herself to death or whatever)

i was hoping youd complete my thought with a hilarious third one

Jared 

and his 80s stylized high school football team wins the regional championship with a shot at the buzzer

Jessie 

SWISH

Jared 

which he coached

Jessie 

as his former-coach dad watched from the audience

Jared  

who looks exactly like him, but with a mustache drawn on the spartan visor

true friendship.

Thomas

thank you for being understanding

Jessie 

dude of course

Thomas

its part of why you're the best

Jessie 

aw shucks.

Thomas

the other part is that you're always down for shots

some magicians can walk on water. gordon freeman can swim through land.

Jessie 

if you pull that out of the oven

i honestly might try to mount it

Diana

That would be disastrous for your naughty bits

Jessie 

i see you are adept at planning ahead.

Diana

hahahaha

Jessie 

i wonder if they make heat-proof underwear.

gordon freeman would know.

Diana

He knows everything that is worth knowing.

all-terrain.

Jessie 

did i tell you what i got at toys r us?!

i have to MMS it to you because it's that good

it's remote control

Haven

oh dear.

is that a mongoose?

Jessie 

why yes, yes it is.  

we need to think of fun things to do with it in the office

Haven

deliver mail

Jessie 

hahaha

escort people who've been laid off out of the building

Haven

yes.

"SECURITY!"
* vrrrrrrrrrrrrr *

iphone screenshots.